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JeffK

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  1. Sooo...

    Yes. B is a good choice.
  2. Sooo...

    I... have not been here in forever.
  3. A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, first star to the left and straight on until one morning, everything changed. There he was, freshly painted and a week late to the show. Jeff Kowalski sat in his attic, unshowered and on the brink of insanity, typing furiously at his keyboard. He had no idea how to introduce The Bloodsmith into BotP 8, but goddamnit, he was going to try. Several minutes passed as he chatted on AIM and chewed on the end of a wire twist tie. Mac and cheese would hit the spot right now. I’ll be right back. …Hello? Anyone home? HEY. HEY GUY. Okay good, he’s gone. While he’s off making macaroni and cheese out of a box, I’m going to get this story rolling. I’m The Bloodsmith! What’s your name? …Hello? What, am I not good enough to be answered? Listen, this whole Internet thing is a little bit new to me, so BACK OFF MAN. Anywho, back on Planet X… The barman looked curiously at an odd ninja sitting at the table in the back. Well, really he was standing on top of the table. And he was shouting at the wall. “Uh, s’cuse me mister, but what is it you’re doing, exactly?†the barman said, careful not to upset the clearly unstable man. “Hm? Oh, lil ol’ me? I’m just telling these fine readers,†the ninja gestured at the wall, specifically the fourth one, “all about the Battle of the Posters. But then they got a bit sassy, so I had to put ‘em in their place. With shouting. Oh, look! Jeff is back! Mmmm, mac and cheese is delicious with Tabasco sauce in it. Om nom nom nom nom…†He trailed off like that for some time. Exactly some time later… “TREASUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!one!!`!1~eleven!!!!@!†Then he did a complicated dance, and was off towards Parts Unknown to find Planet X’s hidden treasure.
  4. Member introductions!!

    FINE. THERE.
  5. Personal Information Name: The Bloodsmith aka Bill Smith Age: ? Sex: Male Race: Humanesque Occupation: Super-powered Ninja Mercenary (don’t ask me, I’m just writing the guy’s bio, here) Dialogue: [bgcolor=DARKRED]||||||||[/bgcolor] DARKRED Character Bio Bill started out as a normal dude with a normal ninja life, until one day he found the secret to immortality! Or wait, maybe he was a comedian who fell into a vat of acid. Crap, that’s not it. Oh, I think I’ve got it! He was an attractive call girl in Beverly Hills who falls desperately in love with… Wait wait wait, that’s not right at all. The truth is, nobody really knows who this guy is or where he comes from, but he seems to demonstrate some uncanny ability to end up exactly where he is least wanted at any given time, generally aggravating those surrounding him with his quick reflexes and quicker wit. A mentally unstable practitioner of the ninja arts, Bill’s after the treasure on Planet X because he got bored. Physical Appearance Bill Smith’s about 6 feet tall, 160 pounds, and always wearing ninja gear. Occasionally, he throws some clothes on over top. He wears a black mask with eye holes at all times and never removes it, ever. Not even to eat, shower, read comic books, sleep, or lay down sweet lovin’. Notable Skills Smith’s able to heal from any injury, no matter how terrible. Oh, also, he thinks he’s in a fictional story. What a nut. He’s quite a capable fighter, but never serious enough to let the limit of his skills show. Basic Battle Assessment Weapon o' Choice – Double Sword Bo Staff: It’s a bo staff. It's about 5 feet long. It splits apart to be swords. Awesome. Defensive Measures - Ninjarmour: Ninja body armour. Miscellaneous Gear - Kickass motorcycle: It’s name is Sally. Fighting Style - Smack Talkin’ Ninjitsu: He babbles nonsensically whilst kicking unserious amounts of ass. Signature Techniques Normal Attack - Stab N’ Hit: Bill stabs the enemy with swords, and hits them with the staff his swords are made of (He’s a ninja, not a rocket scientist). Normal Defense - Ninjappear!: He vanishes in a puff of smoke! Magic, or smoke bomb? We may never know! Special Attack - Shake N’ Bake Self Team-Up From Another Dimension and Attack with Ninja Fury Attack!!?!: Bill slices a rift into space-time and pulls an alternate universe version of himself in to help attack for a brief time. This is a “special†attack. At least, that’s what his mom tells him. Super Attack - Deus Ex Machina!!?!: Bloodsmith summons a plot device to save him! This is a last resort that will help bolster ratings, but leave the fans bitching about it for years. Super attack!
  6. Member introductions!!

    I'm... I'm alive?! That's right, motherfuckers. Y'all remember me as Ffej, maybe. I'm back because work is boring as shit and I need something to do besides play Flash games all damn day. All ready made a character, too! Yeah, bitches.
  7. Something creepy in Earthbound

    Weirddddd. I should get this when it hits the VC.
  8. MEGA FUCKING UPGRADE!!

    Fuck yeah.
  9. Nerdgasm in HD!

    Now the game finally looks like the concept art.
  10. I insist upon you recording this (as a rap, I'd presume) and allowing me to produce a backtrack for it. Please?
  11. NERDGASM!

    Good review, OV. I think the pirate in me wants to get it, however, for the simple fact that I'd never have to buy a game for it.
  12. NERDGASM!

    Apparently they are mapped to the analog stick. Also, it's down to $199, brand new.
  13. NERDGASM!

    And with PSP's firmware being fully cracked and capable of PS1 emulation, no one has an excuse not to be buying one before summer. As soon as I have the money, I will be getting a PSP.
  14. Dead Or Alive

    Fan Service: The Motion Picture. Coming 2008.
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