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Moo Cow

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'Why?' some would ask. 'Why is it that the moo cow, a poor and defenseless beast of beasts, would be within such an unforgiving hell of a place?'

 

The answer, my friend, very well lies in the same statement, in that the Unknown Garden houses ALL manner of beasts of the same clarity of the rooms that compose it, harmless and harmful alike.

 

Unfortunately, this will not save the moo cow from harm, heedless of intangible protests. If fellow beasts thirst for milk, the moo cow will find itself spared, but if burgers appear on the menu this night, it best flee to the far side of the hills, if such hills are available to it.

 

Moo, moo cow. Moo as if your life, your existence, the preservation of your very species, depended on it.

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But the Moo Cow, in its innocence, its benevolence, its passivity, has a dark, troublesome, and sinister secret. There is another spawned from the Moo Cow's very flesh, a fusion of tissue, rot, and bile. It is a multi-gastric deamon, a bovine abomination:

 

It is... The Evil Cow Clone...

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"That'll ruin some appetites," Sasuke said, mostly to himself, as he gazed upon the forsaken mess of necrosis and feces that was the evil cow clone. "I guess I should probably put this thing out of its misery, unless it enjoys living as it does. Do you enjoy living in your current state, beef-like monstrosity?"

 

"Eh, I've had it worse," The Evil Cow Clone gurgled, then dragged itself to a place that would be more appreciative of its horrid stench (ie, your mother).

 

"Okay then," Sasuke said. "I'm still itching for a fight... even though no one has shown up yet. Beyond these random abominations, anyway."

 

"Man, that was the best barbeque EVER!" a Mebius said, walking into the room. "Who'da thought I'd find a delicious moo cow like that in a place like this? Today must be my lucky day!"

 

Then, much like a Goomba under Mario's well-traveled boots, was the Mebius crunched into a bony sauce under the feet of one of the skinny dark things draped in oddly patterned pelts as it launched itself from the ceiling.

 

"That was mildly entertaining," Sasuke said, watching as the dark thing zapped the gooey remains into dust and stamped away the stain. "Are you one of the battlers this go?"

 

It didn't respond in any way.

 

"I'll take that as a 'no'," Sasuke said, shrugging as the dark thing left. "I'm starting to get bored, now. I wonder if I have any hoagies left..."

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