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SuperSephiroth

Twisted metal black - PS2

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Flow me tears the murderous clown said. (Actually he said something more along the lines of shut up and bleed mother fucker and the hamburgler said flow my tears. But this is a great game and has earned the title the king of fucked upness. Plain and simple the storys range from a physcotic killer clown to a farmer boy killing his cheating wife with a garden hoe. The graphics are great and the levels can be massive. However the fmv's are mostly still shots and bring down the rating a bit. The controls handle just like the previous ones but still the one thing youll face more than ever is cheap shots. Jesus christ just when you think its safe to do something like trying to unlock a character the fucking computer comes along and hits you while you are in mid air with a jump you planed for a full 30 to get one fucking character. Oh yeah and just unlocking the levels and characters is just a pain in the ass. The overall music is quite annoying to after playing for about 5 min youll probally turn down the tv and play some other tunes to forget about this horrible music. However despite some of the bad qualities Twisted Metal Balck has its still worth the buy bringing you hours upon hours of fucked up game play.

 

Control: 8

Graphics: 9

Sound: -4

Replay: 10

Funfactor: 7

The final say: 30

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Having played along side our ever fearless game reviewer Seph, I will tell you that the FMVs are some of the shittiest things I've ever seen, dear god! I mean, I'd rather watch an animated .Gif featuring the Goatse.cx guy then watch those FMVs again. Well... they are kind of funny. But they look like ass. So I'd take down the Graphics rating a bunch.

 

Uh, gameplay is so so. I liked Twisted metel 2 beter, control and computer AI wise. I actually could beat a level in 2, damn. The physics in Black seem real fake. I don't like them all that much. You find yourself flying way faster then you should far to often. So controls should go down, too.

 

Well, that's it. I haven't beaten it, so I can't put up mah own review. I'll just have to hope that Seph changes his a bit to reflect my opinions ;P

 

Fat chance of that happening.

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