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Sword Bearer

More happy froo froo songs :)

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Look

If you had

One shot

To sit on your lazy butt

And watch all the tv you ever wanted

until your brain turned to mush

Would you go for it?

Or just let it slip?

 

Yo

Remote is ready Eyes wide, palms are sweaty

There's Flinstones on the TV already

Wilma 'n' Betty

No virgin to channel surfin

And I'm HD-ready

So I flip - garbage is all I'm getting

There's Simon Cowell

Who folks wanna disembowel

He opens his mouth

Always says something foul

They're dyin', wow

Wannabes are cryin' now

He votes 'em out

Time to throw in the towel

Shows based on reality

Oh! The humanity

Oh! Ozzy's family

Sho' loves profanity

Whoa, the insanity

Oh! dogs that crap and pee

Home of depravity?

No, they live happily

Yo, plus Da Ali G Show

And Celebrity Mole

Oh, and there's Anna Nicole

She's scarin' me

"Look ma, no cavaties!"

Oh, its a station break

Better go out to the kitchen and microwave something

 

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"

They told me, they'd scold me

But I'd still tune in every show (show)

My cable gets C-span, Tv-Land and HBO

The travel Channel. Discovery and Lifetime (yo)

"You're gonna lose you mind watchin' TV"

They told me, cajoled me "Turn off those music videos" (no!)

I'm gonna watch C-SPAN TV-LAND and HBO

The History Channel and QVC and Lifetime(yo!)

"You're gonna..."

 

My butt is aching

As I watch NASCAR racing

That show about undertaking

Larry King

To 24 to Law and Order

The Weather Channel's boring like 60 Minutes ancient reporters Next up on E! True Hollywood Story

The rise and decline of 12 actors named Corey

Shows for next fall they've already been namin:

CSI: Boise and Touched By An Uncle both sound pretty lame 'n'

So does Everybody Tolerates Raymond

And King Of Queens jumbed the shark the first minute

I can't believe Richard Simmons ain't in it

I'll move right on to 8 Simple Rules For Dating My Teenage Daughter

Then I bet I'll watch The Bachelorette followed by Welcome Back, Kotter

and the Muppet Show where they go "Mahna Mahna"

 

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"

They told me, they'd scold me

But I'd still tune in every show (show)

My cable gets C-span, Tv-Land and HBO

The Disney Channel and A&E and Lifetime(Yo!)

"You're gonna lose you're mind watching TV"

They told me, cajoled me

But I still love Lisa Kudrow (drow)

I'm lookin' at C-SPAN, TV-LAND and HBO

The Playboy Channel and Court TV and Lifetime(yo!)

"Your gonna..."

 

Never missed Melrose Place or Lost in Space

I've seen each Amazing Race and Without a Trace

But I only watched Will & Grace one time, one day

Wish I hadn't 'cause TiVo now thinks I'm gay

Oh, and Fear Factor I watched maybe a half hour

After that, felt like I neede a long shower

Network execs with naked ambitions

"Next week on FOX- watch lions eat Christians!"

Like to tie up those programming planners

Make'em watch all of that junk till their heads explode just like "Scanners"

Leech-covered grub-eating fools on Survivor

Look, there's James Lipton discussing the oeuvre of Mr. Rob Schneider

And there's Gilligan and SpongeBob, plus there's MacGyver

And Jay Leno has got Madonna-hey there's Luke Perry on a

Special All-Pig-Latin episode of Drew Carey, wanna

Turn on E.T. 'cause I'm a gossip feak

And I gotta know who J. Lo is marryin' this week

A 30-second spot

Then we come back to "Are You Hot?"

I was plannin' on recording The Sopranos - I forgot

I love shows with or without a plot

I'll stare till my legs are numb, my eyes bloodshot

Because I only have got

One brain to rot

I'm gonna spend my life watching television alot.

 

"You're gonna lose your mind watching TV"

They told me, they'd scold me

But I'd still tune in every show (show)

My cable gets C-span, Tv-Land and HBO

The Sci Fi Channel and AMC and Lifetime(yo!)

"You're gonna lose you're mind watching TV"

They told me, cajoled me

"Turn off that Oprah Winfrey show! (no!)

I got it on C-SPAN, TV-LAND and HBO

The Learning Channel and MTV and Lifetime (yo!)

"Your gonna..."

 

You can watch anything you want to, man.

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